I loathed myself too, for making the two worst decisions of my life.Their letters arrived in mid-November, nearly four years ago. They wrote, almost word-for-word, 'it just happened.' Hell, they could have used one envelope and saved a stamp. I stayed in my dorm room for a week, brooding.I didn't come home that Thanksgiving and completely ignored their wedding announcement the following spring. Ed continued to send checks for my tuition until he discovered I wasn't cashing them. I took out student loans and used the harvest money to pay for incidentals. When it was gone I got my first credit card. I needed money because I had met a girl.Looking at Ed and Jen walk hand-in-hand toward the house, with the six new homes in the background, I stood up and, feeling my heart beat rapidly, tired to make myself presentable.Jen handed the bag of groceries to her husband and came to me. We embraced, both talking nonsense about how long it had been. She pulled away, smiled nervously and excused. I've only been rattling around in the empty house for one night since they left, but I had a friend come over and we had a blast watching dumb movies and drinking a bottle of expensive Spanish white stolen from dad's collection. I'm only recently old enough to buy booze for myself, and the habit of taking dad's is one I've yet to break.Lily went home in the morning. Both of us are worked up enough by our exams to stick to strict study schedules even when unsupervised, so I've spent the day so far staring at my physics textbooks and trying to absorb yet more information from it. I'm a straight A student, and there's little to suggest anything will change once I've sat those exams of ultimate importance. But dad wants me to go to Bristol to study medicine, just like he did, and that takes the very best grades. I'm the first and last of his children who might achieve those grades, so the pressure is intense.While I'm trying to focus, I start to daydream, to think about what I want... I.
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